Life is full of change- some planned, some unexpectedly pleasant, some unexpectedly not so great. I am in a week of significant change. I am taking finals to finish up the semester, I am saying goodbye to one of my best friends, and I am forever moving on toward the end of the year 2010, whether I like it or not. But this year has been filled with change in general. I've lost 30ish pounds, I've grown significantly in my relationship with Christ, I've made deeper friendships, I've found new hobbies I enjoy, I've stepped out into many new ministry opportunities, and changed my perspective on life in general(for the better of course).
Change is never easy. But it is necessary. As Keith Moore(Beth Moore's husband) says, "Good-bye is a necessary life skill." I wish it wasn't sometimes. I am going to miss Chelsea when she graduates next week so much! I am trying not to burst into tears right now. I am going to be glad for the few weeks off from classes. And I'm still trying to decide how I am going to react to the ever nearing 2011.
I have been spending a lot of time on a verse this week from Psalm 9. "Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you." Psalm 9:10. God has brought this verse to my attention in a big way this week. I read it in my quiet time on Wednesday and it really spoke to me. I came back after that and had an email from my dad. We send each other verses of the day. Guess which verse he happened to send me. That's right folks, Psalm 9:10! I am amazed by the subtle ways God speaks to us. And that how easy it would be to miss them if we weren't paying attention. His voice is still and small, but it is gentle and loving. The world is full of loud, angry, rude voices -- all of which try (and most often times succeed) to drown out HIS voice. I want to hear His voice.
God's word has become something that I truly desire to spend time in. It has become my lifeline. It is my bread. It sustains me throughout the day. It fills me up like water fills a jar. I find my satisfaction only in the healing, powerful, life giving words of Him who loves me like no one else. I am baffled by the fact that people can reject this love which I know to be so wonderful. I am blown away at the thought of being romanced by the King of the Universe. He paints the sunsets for me. He makes the flowers bloom to bring a smile to my face. The cool breeze on my face reminds me that he is right there with me. I have come to Love this line from a new skillet song.
"Now I'm in our secret place, alone in your embrace, where all my wrongs have been erased, you have forgiven. All the promises and lies, all the times I compromised, all the times you were denied, you have forgiven."
Being a words girl, I LOVE THIS! It is so powerful. I get chills listening to it. My heart feels the words. It cries out at this. God is my deepest desire. To know him and to love him. Because he knows and loves me. Because to be known is to be loved and he made me and knows me and loves me because he made me and made me because he loves me. It is this beautiful never ending circle of the very essence of God. I want to SEEK him with all my heart, mind, strength, and soul.
The next week is going to be tough and challenging. I am going to need to take time to go to that secret place where it is only me and my God, my king and tell him all the pain and joy I feel. I am going to need the patience to deal with tired friends and not lash out in my own tiredness. Emotions run high during finals week. I am going to need wisdom to study the right things and really know what it is I need to. But I know that I can rest assured in the fact that I am loved deeply by the God who created everything. He finds me special. He wants to spend time with me. He longs to make me smile and laugh and have a good time. My prayer is to enjoy this time of change and look HIM in it all.
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