I used to suffer from the desire to achieve American Dream. I wanted to be successful, respected, and rich. Now I strive toward God's dream. My new goal, in the words of a wise new friend, is to have a life long love affair with the Lord. I will go and do what he leads me to. I will submit everything. I surrender to God. His orders at the ones I'm waiting on. The ones I will follow.
We have to be drastic in an effort to give our areas of weakness to God. This requires putting trust in him daily. It is scary to imagine life after next May. What will I do? Will anyone want to hire me? Where will I live? Will I still be single? What kind of jobs should I apply for? Should I go to grad school? If so, where? See. Stresses you out, doesn't it? But I've learned(and am still learning) that I don't need to think about that yet. Yes, I should be aware of it but not let it ruin the present with worry. God will direct me, telling me the steps to take on the path.
The question plaguing me lately is, "What do I want to be?" It's a valid question. Maybe I'll become a nomad, wandering here and there, meeting new interesting people for a time. Or maybe I'll go back to school(doubtful for a while). I'm too burnt out on homework. Maybe I'll be a writer like I've dreamed. It's possible! The future holds endless possibilities.
I love good music. Maybe I'll become a musician. Or rate music? Or a traveling princess? A spy? Who knows. The original point I wanted to make about the American dream has slipped away from me. Let's return to that, shall we?
American Christianity is not Christianity. I am frustrated by the prosperity gospel discussion. Following Jesus isn't going to be easy, but it is always worth while. If we are truly following Jesus, I've realized that we cannot chase after the American Dream. Chasing success and money is all about myself. If I chase after Jesus, he will provide for me. Just like when the disciples went out in pairs and they took nothing with them(except maybe a staff). They had to rely on God for food, shelter, and the words to say. He was their strength. I want to have the faith to trust God to provide for all my needs. I say I do but I don't live like it. The condition of my anxious heart gives me away immediately to my Maker. I've been reading lots of books at my internship on people adopting kids. This is something I'm passionate about and one day hope to do. The most incredible thing is to see God's provision in these situations where only He could have provided. Why do I not live in the deep level of dependence on the Lord? My challenge this summer is to learn to live on a budget. I hope this new discipline will teach me to use my resources wisely and begin to seek God out more on what to spend my money and time on.
I say we put to death the American Dream. No longer allow it to flourish in my heart. I hope that it doesn't cause me to cling to something other than God. Because all the money in the world, all the success in the world is not going to sustain me. No, the Lord is. I've see His faithfulness and I've felt his satisfaction. I'd rather have that any day.
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