And the dearest love in all the world is waiting somewhere for me

How is it possible to love someone despite being ignored, pushed away, been mean to me, ignored some more, and only wants to talk to me when he needs me? Why, despite all my desperate attempts to forget him, he always comes back up? I know he's the wrong one. Seriously, WRONG one. But my heart ache for him and misses him. (P.S. don't try guessing, none of you know him).
The reason he's on my mind is because I dreamed about him last night, I guess. He has been heavy on my heart today. The main reason it would not work, even if he loved me back, is that he doesn't believe in God. He doesn't love Jesus. He thinks religion is something people make up to comfort themselves. As one of the guys this week at Bible study said (and this cracks me up) "If the disciples made all this up, wouldn't they have painted themselves in better light? I mean, Jesus tells Peter 'get behind me Satan'." How can he not see the most obvious and real thing there is? I think that is what my love is based out of-- a deep ache for him to know the only True love. I don't want to be anything but his friend. But even that seems to be a dead end. I want to see him but everytime we plan something, it never happens. Partly because I don't remind him to see if he will remember(he's quite smart so he should) but he doesn't. I think that's how Jesus feels, on a much larger scale than this of course. He seeks after us diligently and wants to get to know us and spend time with us and just love us. But we are too busy, or too afraid, or just plain don't care. The ache I feel in my heart for this man who has been apart of my life for almost ten years is similar to the ache Christ feels for His lost brothers and sisters. And what a blessing it is to share in the inheritance AND the sufferings of Christ. The pain of rejection is one I'm very familiar with, but if it draws me closer to Christ, I shall endure it all my days if I must. I want to end my life saying I loved and lived like Jesus.
And as for my earthly true love, well he's still out there somewhere, waiting and searching for me. And I wait patiently for him. I continue to become the person he deserves (at least I hope). And as my new favorite soundtrack says, "And the dearest love in all the world, is waiting somewhere for me. . . Is waiting somewhere, somewhere for me." And I'm waiting for him.